Black Gowns and Dark Days - Experiencing Family Court

A whole day in the family court is the most depressing segments of life one can presume.

'Black', is my favorite color , my best shopping choice , for clothes , shoes , bags , vehicles , or whatever unless another color is particularly required. The worst place I hate my this favorite color is the Court. My experience lies in the Family Court of Trivandrum though. The black gowns roaming around, darkens your thoughts , sense and expectations. Making you blind on the road of hope. In one word , Hopeless.

Me and my brother sat waiting under a shady tree outside the main building after giving my 4 year old son , Pranav , in the hands of my husband. His duration of monthly love from his father is subjected to 1 hour on every second Saturdays , as his unfortunate parents has decided to quit the journey together.

This month since we had an hearing for some cases on 18th of August , we took him that day . And unlike previous months , my husband, was actively playing around with his son and they were in our (my) visibility and dint try to move away, which is  again a surprising change.
Usually once he grabs the child from me , he prefers to just drown into the black crowd and disappear from my visibility , and just walk around with the child for one hour before returning him to me.

Now my son has started to realize his father , which seldom frightens me. I have no such fear that his father will take away him from me. Am not going into details regarding our strained relationship as I have kept it stored for another chapter of my life.

Let me come back to the court. This time me and my brother thought we would sit outside the depressing walls of the court with some air and light around. I had  Robin Cook's "Chromosome 6"  with me and in between enjoying the jokes my brother cracked , I concentrated on the interesting book. I could see the father and son enjoying in a distance , which gave me a joy of pride inside me. An again unfortunate father was looking at his son struggling to understand the behaviors of his grand child , within the granted One hour which was very less to draw the picture of love between a father and a son. I am talking about my ex-father-in-Law.

You can see many of such old people , whose ego and stubbornness is converted into big thick sharp knives in the hands of the "black" gowns of the court , and they in turn takes their chance , playing "butchers" in the lives of some sons and daughters like us.

Once while talking to the chief Counselor of the Family Court , soon after all of our three sittings for divorce case where done , she mentioned unhappily and guiltily , that there is nothing they can do to bridge the gaps between the couples sitting in front of them with strained hearts. All the psychology they had studied goes waste and in-vain  inside the four dark walls of the court. Their job becomes just to watch the game of throwing dirt over each other , by the couples , with the ease of watching a shuttle match. Their advocates and parents have taught them so many things in one or many days or months , that they get very less time to spit it out in front of the counselor , so that , their ex-partner is picturised as the most ugliest , most cruelest , most corrupted , and the worst partner anyone can have. The more they shout and gesturisze , the more you get your marks. At-least many of them sitting their thinks so. And , the most important.....your luck , is with the Advocates. Not for living together again , NOT AGAIN ,  but for SURE that you will be separated , with a huge "gain" off-course.

My advocate , who is not from the family court , advised me beneficially that speak the truth and show the genuine YOU , looking straight into the eyes of the Counselor , as you DONT have to prove your husband is or was cruel , but you just have to prove that there is truth on your side and your actions whatever where only reactions of the your husband's and his people's actions. She asked me to prove yourself , in your own words, and speak the truth. If you have committed any mistake , tell it out...and apologize . At any cost , even I should be guilty that the allegations where dragged to the court. And after speaking so , the Counselor has to decide which part is right and which part is wrong. She asked me dont by-heart any sentences or terms to speak there. When you see your husband , your child's father , you heart will automatically succumb to the fact that you are finally pleading in front of the law for Justice. Justice of Love....or LAW?

I pity each and every one of us , including me , who walk around the black dark walls of the family court for what so called Justice.

Actually a divorce case is like the war of Mahabharata. No one wins. Either sides lose. Its Tit for Tat and only aim is that the person who doesn't understand dharma , will NOT rule the land. So he should be avoided, at any cost.

Remembering a small incident compared to another incident in Mahabharata. When Krishna approaches Duryodhana  as a mediator , for Pandavas , and requests him to give them what they are rightful for, Duryodhana shouted and exclaimed that ,"The Pandavas will not get a minute sand to prick even a needle".
After my husband decided to abandon me and my child , we left behind all our clothes , my sons belongings , toys etc at the home where we stayed together. Some of our mutual friends approached my husband and requested him to give all the things that his wife and son were using , so that they can give them to us, as he is not planning to take us back again to his home or life.

He exclaimed "She will not get a minute sand from this home , if she wants she can fight for it in the court"....Now that concludes the story.

As I wrote in one of my previous posts , I dont understand the rules of the Institution called Marriage. All I understand is LOVE . And I just know that my husband LOVED me and I LOVED him once. Where did it go? It was darkened by the black gowns and dark walls of the Castle of the Witches. Its still there , but we can never find it in this darkness. We dont need these Family Courts for the heaven sake. We need someone who throws light on us.............we are TRAPPED.

Now , let me remind you.......Whether he gives me what I left behind or not , whether he pays my maintenance or not , whether he gives back my gold or not .....None of us will win the case of Life and Love.

 We both are already the LOSERS.