In my previous post , I wrote about our heart. Heart , as the messenger of Love. I mentioned a man and woman are a part of the love story , until they sign the Contract. That is the Contract of Marriage. Few years before , I heard a Film Actress , explain the reason why she doesn't want to get married , in an interview , that "Marriage is an Un-realistic institution .
That striked me intensively . Me , myself , being the victim of an unsuccessful marriage now , can confidently support that statement . But I took years to realize why she called it an Un-realistic institution.
An institution built up with laws . So the "relationships" that come into our life , following this law , has the suffix "IN-LAWS" . Mother-in-law , Father-in-law ,Sister-in-law, Brother-in-law etc. As and when you 'break" any of the laws listed in the contract of marriage , the play-card cottage built with these "IN-LAWS" falls and shatters.
Some of these laws are written in the books of Judiciary , where as some are colloquially understood from generations , while some are verbally explicitly , told. How ever , the rule is you either "Follow" the laws , happily or un-happily (no one bothers, really) , or "Quit" the game (everyone really bothers , especially the society !!!)
As one of the books of Chethan Bhagath, "Two States - The story of my marriage" mentions , in India , a boy likes the girl , girl likes the boy , they decide to get married , but boy has to like girl's parents , girl has to like boy's parents , girl's parents have to like the boy , boy's parents have to like the girl , finally both the parents has to like each other and then the relatives come in...........and at last when marriage is finalized and executed , the girl and the boy struggle for all the above "compatibilities" , that they forget to love each other!!!
Love becomes so complicated . Your poor heart does not understand the Law of marriage or any laws governing the society. Let me brief you the evolution of marriage as a contract. Its from what I have read from so many authors so far.
In Olden days , when man used to depend on Nature for his livelihood , he learned food is for hunger , that can be plants , fruits or flesh , water is for thirst ,the woods for shelter , leaves to cover your body etc. Slowly he learns that , if he works on soil , it can reproduce him want he wants, in a single place , without wandering for food. When he worked hard and grew his food for his benefit , he feared if it will be snatched by other fellow beings . So he learned that Soil can be made in his name. He learns to build a Wall around his piece of land. He built his own house inside that wall. Now he has everything , but what if he dies ? Who will use what he made with his effort? He realized that only his own blood has the rights to use the product of his effort. But till now he enjoyed love and sex , from where ever he wandered . Now he learns that a Woman should be bought and registered in his name , so that , her soul duty is to give birth to his children and look after his household. ONLY HIS. Law of marriage starts here.
Now its said that when god created man , he created him like all other animals , naked , without cloths to cover his nudity. But from the time he started to cover his nudity with leaves or barks or later cloths , he learned to be "Shameful" . And he learned to be "Curious" to know what is "hidden" . You know the after effects of this curiosity .
Similarly , when he learned to build a Wall around his land and in turn ,his heart, he developed the curiosity to peep above the Wall. When Law is made , the man tends to "break" the law. In our terms , there evolved the eternal term , "Sin".
Thus loving another man's wife or another woman's husband became a "Sin" . In India , relationships are important , not Individuals. We don't understand that Individual growth is necessary , but not the lengthy relationships alone. The kshathriyas used to marry for power . More relatives , more relations with powerful kingdoms , bought in more Power. Woman was used as the barter then and now.Woman , increased the generations and woman bought in relatives and power.
After that , people married their sons and daughters to anyone in their family , in the blood line , so that the properties don't flow outside the family's "Wall".
Now there is no kingdom or nor anyone wants this "power of relatives" . They are self-sufficient with a small family, happy family ethic - father , mother , son and daughter and the daughter-in-law , gets ample space if she brings in "ample" gold and money from her home , for the good of husband's home , else struggles to fit into the picture of this happy family , because they keep pushing her from all sides , unless she is OUT of it.
She gets enough money , that's not enough , she has to learn to be dumb and blind , even though she can speak and see. She has to by-heart the laws in the Contract of marriage. If she doesn't get the support of this contract , she is left alone.
Now if the female is from a rich background and male is not , then its he who has to be dumb and blind and better if he forgets his people and learn to "Love" her family more than anything . Its like winning a lottery .
So where did the ethics of Love go? Did the system of marriage develop the culture of the society we built ? Why is it that rape , prostitution , so called extra-marital affairs etc increases day by day? Why is it that most literate states like Kerala needs to open another court to accommodate more divorce cases each day ??? When the so called "most" trusted and most "purest" form of love ,the 'marriage' exists, why does everyone want to "steal" love???? Have you given a thought?
When "slaves" of years , are released , they become "culprits" in the open world. When your heart is bound by restrictions and not freely allowed to love , and when finally someday it gets its freedom, it forgets what is legal and what is Illegal.
Teach our next generation to Love . Don't teach them , what is "Moral" and what is "Immoral" . When purest form of Love will be evolved., when the new generations will learn to love without laws and conditions , when they love without contracts , when they learn that there is nothing called "Sin" , they will automatically learn what is the real "Moral" of the story.
Give love and take love , Love and be Loved.
That striked me intensively . Me , myself , being the victim of an unsuccessful marriage now , can confidently support that statement . But I took years to realize why she called it an Un-realistic institution.
An institution built up with laws . So the "relationships" that come into our life , following this law , has the suffix "IN-LAWS" . Mother-in-law , Father-in-law ,Sister-in-law, Brother-in-law etc. As and when you 'break" any of the laws listed in the contract of marriage , the play-card cottage built with these "IN-LAWS" falls and shatters.
Some of these laws are written in the books of Judiciary , where as some are colloquially understood from generations , while some are verbally explicitly , told. How ever , the rule is you either "Follow" the laws , happily or un-happily (no one bothers, really) , or "Quit" the game (everyone really bothers , especially the society !!!)
As one of the books of Chethan Bhagath, "Two States - The story of my marriage" mentions , in India , a boy likes the girl , girl likes the boy , they decide to get married , but boy has to like girl's parents , girl has to like boy's parents , girl's parents have to like the boy , boy's parents have to like the girl , finally both the parents has to like each other and then the relatives come in...........and at last when marriage is finalized and executed , the girl and the boy struggle for all the above "compatibilities" , that they forget to love each other!!!
Love becomes so complicated . Your poor heart does not understand the Law of marriage or any laws governing the society. Let me brief you the evolution of marriage as a contract. Its from what I have read from so many authors so far.
In Olden days , when man used to depend on Nature for his livelihood , he learned food is for hunger , that can be plants , fruits or flesh , water is for thirst ,the woods for shelter , leaves to cover your body etc. Slowly he learns that , if he works on soil , it can reproduce him want he wants, in a single place , without wandering for food. When he worked hard and grew his food for his benefit , he feared if it will be snatched by other fellow beings . So he learned that Soil can be made in his name. He learns to build a Wall around his piece of land. He built his own house inside that wall. Now he has everything , but what if he dies ? Who will use what he made with his effort? He realized that only his own blood has the rights to use the product of his effort. But till now he enjoyed love and sex , from where ever he wandered . Now he learns that a Woman should be bought and registered in his name , so that , her soul duty is to give birth to his children and look after his household. ONLY HIS. Law of marriage starts here.
Now its said that when god created man , he created him like all other animals , naked , without cloths to cover his nudity. But from the time he started to cover his nudity with leaves or barks or later cloths , he learned to be "Shameful" . And he learned to be "Curious" to know what is "hidden" . You know the after effects of this curiosity .
Similarly , when he learned to build a Wall around his land and in turn ,his heart, he developed the curiosity to peep above the Wall. When Law is made , the man tends to "break" the law. In our terms , there evolved the eternal term , "Sin".
Thus loving another man's wife or another woman's husband became a "Sin" . In India , relationships are important , not Individuals. We don't understand that Individual growth is necessary , but not the lengthy relationships alone. The kshathriyas used to marry for power . More relatives , more relations with powerful kingdoms , bought in more Power. Woman was used as the barter then and now.Woman , increased the generations and woman bought in relatives and power.
After that , people married their sons and daughters to anyone in their family , in the blood line , so that the properties don't flow outside the family's "Wall".
Now there is no kingdom or nor anyone wants this "power of relatives" . They are self-sufficient with a small family, happy family ethic - father , mother , son and daughter and the daughter-in-law , gets ample space if she brings in "ample" gold and money from her home , for the good of husband's home , else struggles to fit into the picture of this happy family , because they keep pushing her from all sides , unless she is OUT of it.
She gets enough money , that's not enough , she has to learn to be dumb and blind , even though she can speak and see. She has to by-heart the laws in the Contract of marriage. If she doesn't get the support of this contract , she is left alone.
Now if the female is from a rich background and male is not , then its he who has to be dumb and blind and better if he forgets his people and learn to "Love" her family more than anything . Its like winning a lottery .
So where did the ethics of Love go? Did the system of marriage develop the culture of the society we built ? Why is it that rape , prostitution , so called extra-marital affairs etc increases day by day? Why is it that most literate states like Kerala needs to open another court to accommodate more divorce cases each day ??? When the so called "most" trusted and most "purest" form of love ,the 'marriage' exists, why does everyone want to "steal" love???? Have you given a thought?
When "slaves" of years , are released , they become "culprits" in the open world. When your heart is bound by restrictions and not freely allowed to love , and when finally someday it gets its freedom, it forgets what is legal and what is Illegal.
Teach our next generation to Love . Don't teach them , what is "Moral" and what is "Immoral" . When purest form of Love will be evolved., when the new generations will learn to love without laws and conditions , when they love without contracts , when they learn that there is nothing called "Sin" , they will automatically learn what is the real "Moral" of the story.
Give love and take love , Love and be Loved.
reading, reading and reading again..
ReplyDeleteThanks ...may i know who is this?
DeleteThe name is sajo john. I am trying to find out some answers for myself from your thoughts. So i have to read it again and again.
ReplyDeleteDoes the last comment from me says that I am "something"? Don't know why i wrote it like that. I believe you have rights to remove comments from here. I request you to remove the previous comment. I feel awful when seeing it. I am sure by now you have got an idea about the maturity level I possess.
ReplyDeleteWhat I wanted to say is my name is sajo john.